Effing Perfect
by TheJadeGeorge
Summary: Camille wishes she was perfect, wishes she had it all. To bad she was perfect already in his eyes


AN: I know I have like so many things to post, but I think this fits Camille pretty well. And, yes, I don't like Jo. Dedicated to WhateverJamez on twitter.

Disclaimer: I don't own BTR

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_Made a wrong turn, once or twice_

_Dug my way out, blood and fire_

_Bad decisions, that's alright _

There are many times when Camille Sanders wonders if she made the right desicion trying to become an actress. She never seemed to win any roles, no matter how hard she tried. Maybe she should have stayed in Texas, she had a nice life there. She had friends who loved her, she even played sports.

Then her mother put the idea of acting in her head. At first,she wouldn't hear of it, a dream she thought she would never have a shot at. Her mother practically forced the idea down her throat before Camille started to eat, sleep and breathe acting. It costed her some friends, a track scholarship to OSU and her parents' marriage.

_Bad decisions, that's alright_

_Welcome to my silly life _

When Camille packed up and moved to L.A. she thought it would come easy. Her manager told her she was natural talent, but she never got any roles. She was to enthusiastc, to into her roles. While passion was a good thing, the people would tell her, you just have to much of it. It really put a strain on Camille's relationship with her mother. The more that Camille missed roles, the more her mother started to drink.

Camille would try harder to make her mother proud, she did anything she really could just short of anthing that goes against her morals. She had to keep that. The palmwoods was expensive, so she made sure she would land a couple of commercials so she could stay. She didn't want to go home to Texas, not where her mother would hate her.

_Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood_

_Miss 'No way, it's all good', it didn't slow me down_

_Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated_

_Look, I'm still around _

When The boys and Jo moved in, Camille honestly thought things would get better, she thought maybe her life would get better, and for awhile it did. She found a crush on Logan, gained someone who shared her all around passion wtih James, found someone who'd make her laugh in Carlos and someone who'd always be that protective brother in Kendall. Then there was Jo.

Jo Taylor got everything she wanted. Camille tried so hard not to be jealous, she really did, but did she have to be so...fucking perfect. She came out here to try to sing but she got an acting role instead. A role that Camille would literally kill for. She got the boyfriend who never gave up, even she Jo fucked up. Camille made a mistake and Logan broke her heart.

Camille kept her jealousy at bay the best she could, but it was starting to eat at her. She wanted what Jo had. Camille didn't want Kendall, that was for sure, but she wanted the relationship the two blondes had. She wanted to prove to the world that she could act. But, Jo had to something stupid. She was chatting with the Jennifers, something Jo normally wouldn't do. Camille was going to go up and say hi but she heard what they were talking about. What Jo was talking about.

"To be honest, I don't even know why she's still here. She's been here for months and she's never gotten a role. I've been here for a month, and i got a role like that. She honestly has no talent."

Camille felt something go straight to her heart. The Jennifers saw her, one looked amused, one looked indifferent and the last one looked at her with pity. Is that all she was worth? Pity. Was she really that awful? She kept quite. She was vaguely aware of the boys arriving, but Jo was to busy to go suck face with Kendall.

"Don't you think that's a little harsh?"

"No, not really. She should just go home, so people with REAL talent can move in. Camille sucks."

Camille didn't even know she was crying until Carlos called out for her. Jo's spine stiffened and she turned around with a guilty smile plastered on her face. Camille took one look at everyone, who was staring at her in intrest and she did the only thing she could think of, she ran.

_Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel_

_Like you're less than f*ckin' perfect_

_Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're nothing_

_You're f*ckin' perfect to me! _

Camille ran past everyone, tears pouring down her face. She could hear some people calling out. Is that was people really think of her? Does everyone think she's awful, that she should go home? She could barely breathe from the force of her sobs.

Camille was reminded of what happened fer freshman year at state. She was an amazing runner and she honestly thought the other girl's on the team were happy for her, that they were proud of her. She heard them talking about her in the locker room. It was the same thing really, except for the fact that those girls weren't her best friend.

Camille pounded up the stairs to her apartment and slammed her bedroom door shut as soon as she was inside. She flinched when her eyes landed on a picture of her mother. Stacey left two weeks ago, saying she couldn't handle her failure of a daughter. She regretted putting this idea in Camille's head. She was good at track.

_You're so mean, when you talk about yourself, you were wrong_

_Change the voices in your head, make them like you instead_

_So complicated, look happy, you'll make it! _

Camille knew she had to face people sooner or later even though she wanted to rot in her bedroom. She was so tempted to pack up, move home, go back to where she was a no one. But she couldn't do that. She gave up everything to get here and they didn't want her back. She told everyone she would make it, but dammit she couldn't even do that right.

Maybe everyone was right. Maybe she really was talentless, maybe she did fuck everything up. Why would anyone want her? She was awful. Logan really didn't. Not with Peggy, pretty Peggy, who had talent. She was nothing, she couldn't do anything right. Her own mother couldn't even stand her.

She hasn't been out of her room in three days, and her dad was worried. She tried to tell him it was alright but she hasn't stopped crying. She just wished she was someone. She wanted just ONE role, just something to prove she had talent, to gain back her mother's love.

_Filled with so much hatred...such a tired game_

_It's enough! I've done all I can think of_

_Chased down all my demons, I've seen you do the same _

After the depression came the anger, the self anger, the anger at Jo, the anger at everyone. How dare they judge her when they themselves were just as bad. How DARE Jo Taylor talk about her when she's the one who constantly cheats on Kendall, who is SHE to call talentless.

She finally ventured out of her room and the first thing she saw was Carlos, sitting on the floor and looking at her apartment. When she stepped out, his eyes lit up, until he stared into her eyes.

"Camille, where've you been? We've missed you. Jo was worried."

Jo, there she was again. Always getting mentioned. This is all her fault, it's her fault Camille feels this way, it's her fault she hates herself. Her perfect blond hair, the acting job. Camille clenched her fist, bit her lip. She was losing her temper. She turned and slammed her fist into the wall, flinching when some of the bones in her hand cracked. She had to get out of there. She had to leave. She walked away from the wall, out into the lobby and out the door, her eyes never leaving, but seeing a smirking Jo and a worried boy band. She heard Carlos calling for her as well.

"Dammit, Camille! I think you broke your hand!"

_Oh, pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel_

_Like you're less than f*ckin' perfect_

_Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're nothing _

_You're f*ckin' perfect to me _

Naturally, it would be raining as Camille stepped out into the Palmwoods Park. She needed to do something to clear her mind. She had to something from going insane. She had to prove that she could do this, that she wasn't talentless but how, when she could do nothing right. Her hand was throbbing, she was depessed and dammit she was ready to end it all. Her curls were sticking to her face, her shirt sticking to her body, but she didn't care. She strolled around looking for anything when she saw it.

_The whole world's scared so I swallow the fear_

_The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer_

_So cool in line, and we try try try, but we try too hard and it's a waste of my time_

_Done looking for the critics, cause they're everywhere_

_They dont like my jeans, they don't get my hair_

_Exchange ourselves, and we do it all the time_

_Why do we do that? Why do I do that?_

_Why do I do that..? _

The wishing well was the only thing Camille could see. She practically spinted to it, while she started to cry again. She needed closure. She needed something. She reached into her pocket and found a quarter. She closed her eyes, kissed the coin and wished as she flipped the coin, the pain in her hand forgotten.

" I wish I was perfect."

As soon as the coin hit the water, strong arms wrapped around her waist. She breathed in a familliar scent of vanilla with chai tea and she knew it was Logan. She was trembling with the force of her sobs, his arms, careful of her hand, wound tighter around her, whispering one phrase in her ear that made it all worth it.

"_You're fuckin perfect to me."_

_Yeah, oh, oh baby, pretty baby..!_

_Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel_

_Like you're less than f*ckin' perfect_

_Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel_

_Like you're nothing, you're fucking perfect to me_

_You're perfect, you're perfect!_

_Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're nothing_

_You're f*ckin' perfect to me..._

Logan drug Camille back to the Palmwoods, where the boys and the blond Jennifer surrounded her. She could only see concern in their eyes. She may not be perfect but she had these wonderful people who cared for her. That's when it happened. Jo came up and tried to schmooze on her, look like the concerned Best Friend. Camille glared at her, her upper lip curling with disgust.

"Camille I-"

"Save it, Jo. I'm tired of your crap. Yeah, I heard you talking about me. Some best friend. Oh, Kendall, Remember the last time Jo cancelled your date? She was actually fucking Jett."

Jo let out a shriek and tried to slap Camille but to the Brunettes surprise, the blonde Jennifer stepped in front of Camille, and took the slap. The boys looked shocked and Carlos looked even more love struck, Kendall looked heartbroken and Jo looked pissed.

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Life got better for Camille, she was happy again. She finally landed a role of a life time, she was to actually play a boy named Edward Heffron in Band of Brothers, a role she'd have for three years. Kendall and Jo broke up, after Kendall caught Jo fucking Jett, getting the ride of her life, pun intended. The Jennifers warmed up to more people and Carlos got his wish, the blond one was now his. Logan and Camille were going strong, Peggy who? Camille might not be perfect to most, but she is to him.

An: So, yeah. Lomille.


End file.
